A mobile-phone version of this site would be useful for dealing with those inconsistent labels mentioned below. It comes grace of the US government and though pounds and onces aren't the imperial kind (I think) you're given lots of weight options, including metric of course, and lots and lots of food info about just about everything. It is search-based rather than list based and seems to do the trick nicely. I tried bananas, maple syrup and tuna canned in oil. (No - it's not some mad dish I'm conjuring up). It provided all the info I needed plus some. Definitely worth a visit.


Over here the new thing is Five Portions of Fruit and Veg a Day. Check it out here. This is the total opposite in style - it keeps things short and sweet and there is a useful list of of "portion" samples. It could do with a portion-calculator and a search function I think.

And failing that there is also the option of popping a few newly-arrived pills and getting them to do the job for you - for smoking and for weight control.

Stepping towards 2007

Christmas Cigarettes
Originally uploaded by Todd Ehlers.

Here's an eve of new year's eve summary as far as smoking is concerned:


---
8m 3w 12:50 smoke-free, 6,644 cigs not smoked, £770.70 saved, 3w 2d 01:40 life saved


And we have a newcomer to the stats - all part of the de-fattening process:

Weight 72kg ~ 11st 3lbs Waist 40 ins.

Could be worse.

All in all it's a bit too much for me - even R finds it a bit mind-bending watching me eat fruit and clap gleefully at the sight of a carrot.

And of course there's the no (minimal actually) alcohol regime.

So where am I?


I gave up smoking in April.

I was getting really itchy skin so I went to the doctor. He saw my palms and promptly fainted. "Your liver" he gasped.

I went through two extended dry periods prior to a blood test and then an ultrasound scan.



Neither was conclusive. Either its a type of fatty liver thats not too bad or its liver disease at an early stage.

I see a second doctor and he seems relaxed about it - I start enjoying a few drinks again

Then I see a consultant - he thinks a biopsy might be needed and he wants me to lose weight and go minimal with drink.

In the mean time I think I'm having a heart attack which is some other vaguely diagnosed ailment, another doctor gives me a drug and am told not to drink. Subsequently my face explodes with yukky skin disease around the mask of my face. So I see another doctor. For some reason she wants to input basic info onto the practice's database again. She is amused when I tell her I drink 1-2 units a week.

She gives me another prescription. Then I am looking at the small print of the first drug and it warns me to consult a doctor if my face starts to blister so I guess I am going back to see another doctor about...er...what...oh yes...my face...or is it my liver?


~~~~~~~~~~

My first non-smoking Christmas. Any thing to say about it? I had to spend more quality time with my family - I used to be able to escape to the garden for a long cigarette or two. Did I say escape?

I missed my post Midnight Mass cigarette - much more than my usual Christmas Eve drink-up it must be said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Lewis yesterday braving the sales-seeking crowds to get a weighing-scale. Got pounced on by an assistant "Can I help you sir" "Yes I am looking for some weighing scales" He must have thought I was a drug dealer or something as he sent me down to the kitchen department. I emerged ten minutes later and sought out bathroom accessories.

I had little idea how the market has changed - weighing scales tell you all sorts of things nowadays like how much of you is fat and how much is water at any given moment. After failing to find out what batteries were required I bottled out and bought conventional mechanical scales. They also happened to be the cheapest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Football used to be a different experience altogether and it wasn't only because the Wimbledon FC team was professional. At least four pints of lager would be involved and it was almost statutory to visit one of the many chicken outlets in Thornton Heath - the greasier the better. When things went Non League I suddenly found I could drink just as easily and smoke much more easily. Fried chicken was on offer in Kingston Road but I never really got on with it. The chips and burgers inside Kingmeadow sufficed nicely.

Post-smoking and the experience is practically unrecognisable. Today I had two bovrils on the trot (don't tell me its fattening please!). In the second half I stuffed my face, rather furtively I have to admit, with some over-priced dried berries I had bought from Waterloo Station. The berries were washed down with tea.

(Bovril of course does belong to rituals of football - it was drizzly and windswept and the light was perfect as I sipped on my warming beaker. AFCW beat Walton and Hersham 3-1. I celebrated with a berry.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though R has been a great help with giving up smoking she isn't very expert at anything to do with slimming. In fact reading labels is not her strong point unless it's the bright yellow "Reduced" or "Two for the Price of One" type of label and then she's very observant indeed. Negotiating the microscopic grid at the back of foodsfuffs (Fat 0.3g of which 0.05g is mono-flatuent and so on) isn't easy for anyone. I have never ever in my life bothered looking at them till now. I have spent two weeks odd checking them and am already annoyed at the inconsistencies. I original thought the values were all on a per 100g basis but obviously not. Something I looked at today was only X amount of fat per 1/3 of a pot. Not very easy to make your calculations extrapolating from fractions of pot sizes.

Despite our relative inexperience we'll shortly be settling down to a Jacket potato and a lettuce leaf. R might have a beer to wash it down with ....ahhhhh.

A Happy New Year to You All.

Football Diets Smoking New Year

Not getting any younger.







OK. This is getting silly now. I went to see my "consultant" on Monday. He wants me to lose weight. And not use sugar. And avoid dairy products. And fatty foods. And bready foods....potatoey foods...foody foods. He very kindly will allow me the 1-2 units of alcohol I mentioned below.

And the daftest saved for last...he wants me to exercise. Twerp.

Crise de coeur

A person came to live in the close's dustbins the other week. Very Christmassy – doubt it was a pregnant virgin but we never got to see the occupant. A note was left for them telling them it wasn't safe to live there and they seem to have moved on. They had stuffed old newspaper paper into the slats of the door to keep out the cold.

Last Monday I decided I was in the middle of a heart attack and called out the ambulance. I felt a bit silly doing it but the ambulance people were very reassuring. To my surprise they actually took me to hospital and worse the doctor wanted me in over night and I had an IV thing plonked into the back of my hands. I didn't get out until 3pm the next day.

My fellow patients were a bit of a pain. I wondered if one of the disembodied voices I heard during the night was the person who had just moved on from our dustbins.

There was another who I was convinced was faking his moans and groans. R smuggled in a slice of pizza. Although he didn't see the source of the smell he was soon on his feet hassling the staff for supper. “I smell food” he said “I haven't eaten for two days” “Why haven't you?” the nurse asked. He didn't answer.

Another bloke turned up at 5am under police escort. Various doctors attempted to ascertain what he had taken – there were concerned mutters about opiates. The next morning the doctor did her rounds and had a jolly chat with him about the pills cocaine and litre and a half of Jack Daniels he had drunk. When she got to me she asked how much I was drinking. I had briefly discussed the indeterminate liver problem. “Around the limit” I said “21 units a week” - she hit the roof and gave me the third degree – “You should be drinking 1-2 units a week at the most” she screeched. Oh well. How much is a unit now?

Try banning this

WHACKIE TABACKIE ?
Originally uploaded by Philip Campbell.

Apparently the German coalition have agreed on strengthening their relatively relaxed smoking laws. Smoking in pubs restaurants bars and "discos" will still be permitted. I'm sure this guy is well pleased with that - especially the disco bit.

My my... how I have changed

Papua New Guinea
Originally uploaded by Eric Lafforgue.

Apart from the general podginess there are a few "giving-up" positives I have noticed.

I am just at the end of another period of being on the verge of a cold. On the verge of one. Not laid low off sick with one. This has happened twice since I have given up smoking. Has my resistance/immunity strengthened?

That said I did get hit by a bad one shortly after giving up. At least life is a bit more comfortable now if you get burdened with a sore throat. There was nothing more depressing than steeling yourself to smoke despite a red raw throat.


Sometimes with a fever you would have to go without - you had no choice because you were unconscious. But as soon as a bit of clear-headedness arrived it would be out on the balcony for a puff.

There was an error or rather an oversight in my earlier post about the Waterloo Cafe makeover. The Waterloo Cafe is now to be known as the Cafe Waterloo - in fact thats what all the engraved glass is about. Very chic that. Cafe Waterloo. Very French.

Guess it's not one of the more common cafe names over there though.

Thanks to Eric Lafforgue for the image "Papua New Guinea"

Oh the chill and wonderful world of Windows. Sitting hear listening to Ennio Morricone at this website - it could equally be chill with a Mac I presume but with Linux....who knows? Perhaps it would work perhaps not.

Though the pros and cons of Macs running OS X Tiger and PCs running XP Home and Pro are rigorously detailed at XvXP its taken for granted that the Mac machine is ahead on pure design and the logo blares out of the back of every MacBook.

And it's not only Steve Jobs who is at it. After a bit of a gap I decided to visit the Waterloo Cafe for egg chips sausage and beans today. This is a cafe that I mentioned had annoyed me in the past - it had a billboard advertising spag bol but everytime I went there the old guy would say "We don't do it on a tuesdays" ...or if it was a Weds "we don't do it on Weds".

They finally took the sign down after me going in there a thousand times and turning on my heels whenever the excuse was trotted out.

I went in today and ordered my food in a half trance finally looking in the direction of the manager. He was wearing a black tee-shirt with The Waterloo Cafe printed on it in a clean modern font.

I should have ordered mutton dressed as lamb.

Let's all just chill

Originally uploaded by questionyourtruth.

Aaaaargh...its so annoying. R and I look like we are going to hit a brick wall with our dream home. The vendor says he can't shift the tenant and that he's going to sue them etc...Months of fiddle-arsing is coming to nothing. Fivers have been wantonly cast upon the open flames and it wasn't even a rock stunt.

Oh well. Just have to chew it over with some new-style Orbit chewing gum in weird cigarette type packets. Perhaps Orbit are gearing up for the new boost in sales that should accompany the smoking ban next year.

Instead of changing the packets they should really be thinking about the flavours. Spearmint doesn't really go with stout or bitter though its probably ok with Vodka and Tonic and the more flavourless lagers. Some possibles:

Biltong

Cheese and Onion

Salt cod

Tobacco.

The last one is a bit problematic - does tobacco without nicotine taste of anything? The sickly burn is the whole point.

A friend reckons it will be smoke free tobacco products that will hit boom time rather than the sweety industry.

I know only one tobacconist, in Otley, that sells chewing tobacco. Will it become a standard behind every bar counter? And snuff of course.


I think I'll google around to check out the Irish experiments.

EDIT: And sure enough here's the first hit so to speak.

thanks to questionyourtruth at flickr for the image

We didn't get mullered in any sense of the word. AFC Wimbledon played well but not well enough to earn replay or a win. The turnout was huge for such a fixture.

R and I were able to do some catching up with respective friends who live in or near Exeter and the whole thing went a treat. 

feeling a wee bit nervy

!
Originally uploaded by viva la paola.

There's nothing like a good chain smoke to calm your nerves through the night before a big day.

Aye

AFC Wimbledon take on Conference Giants Exeter tomorrow at St James's Park.

R and I have to get a ridiculously early train so are preparing for bed at a ridiculously early hour.

Oh yes the chain smoking...no I'm not. I am having to make do with decaf instant. Great thing is its a long train journey tomorrow and I won't have to deal with any cravings.

R has just opined that "we are going to get mullered aren't we?". I think she meant to use another word but if we win tomorrow we will probably get mullered and all.

Half a year

No Pipe Smoking in Croatia
Originally uploaded by Venichka.

SIX MONTHS without smoking.

Had my first heavy smoking dream in ages as if to mark the occasion last night.

Half a year without cigs- little old me.

A world without smokes seems possible.

Had to happen in the 21st century though - wouldn't really look right in any other era.

How would James Dean have looked cool? Hung a shoelace out of his mouth?

And what would Sherlock Holmes have done if the anti-smoking craze had kicked off even earlier?

"I am most beholden to my horse chesnuts dear Watson - it is a liberation of the mind to enjoy them by the hearth but even so I fear this problem is a nine nutter. Leave me now"

Off into the sunset

The Butt Family..., originally uploaded by emerton.

R needed some extra folder space today so she asked me to purge the smoking folder that she had built up for me and used to leave on the smoking ledge.

I was a bit hesitant - isn't this memorabilia worthy of preservation?

Most of it is mass produced literature so I didn't think it would have any wider value - there would be no future Museum of Smoking without the Smokers issuing requests for old anti-smoking leaflets.

Inevitably I gave them a quick glance- I was not a devoted reader of the file (started three or four years ago) in it's early days as I had no intention then of giving up - there was a picture of some local sporting hero kicking some small person in a cigarette suit. This unfortunate character was called Buttman.

There were my quit cards mentioned on this blog - these are to be left around the house or office to give gentle reminders. A lack of fridge magnets meant that whole idea never took off.

Even channel 5 turn up in one leaflet giving financial advice. It says things can be cheaper overall for non-smokers but makes the interesting point that some insurance companies pay out larger annuities to smokers that non-smokers as their life expectancy is lower.

Well the R's marvellous efforts at building up a propanganda pack over the years is now in the bin.

Bye bye Buttman.

Slim pickings

Big Portions, originally uploaded by m1keydee.

R has been applying the Chinese Burn in a move to encourage a healthier diet.

I said I had decided not to do anything else healthy until the quit-o-meter was over the one year mark.

The pressure has had some kind of effect of effect though. I had a dream about a doctor giving me a scary diagnosis so today I entered the symbolic realm of giving up sugar in my coffee. It was fine.

This small concession might protect some of my other snacking habits in the short term (see illustration).

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step it is true. But it is also true that a journey of a thousand involves around a million steps after the first one and that's a bit off if you ask me.

Felt some positive emotions about not smoking. A long train was a lot more comfortable - a bloke in front of me starting rolling up when he was one station away from his destination just like I used to. And when going without my sugar today I was aware that it was nothing compared to the early stages of giving up. I felt a tinge of satisfaction at having done something that was good for me.

(Thanks to konaboy pigalina and kevin and kathy for linked images from flickr.)

I popped into the Caffe Nero yesterday morning a bit ahead of my usual time and bumped into Kevin Spacey who was half way through purchasing a breakfast bowl of fruit.

He's a big lad our Kevin. Massive. He was wearing a flat cap on the wrong way round. It was as if Norman Wisdom had got the lead in King Kong.

He kind of shrieked and whooped when he recognised me- "Heh Rikky my boy- long time no see"

"Oh, oh - here he is,” I said rather unenthusiastically "where are the rest of the usual suspects?"

He crumpled up in hysterics.

"Stop it Rik! Stop it - you're killing me"

When he regained his composure he ordered a mango juice to go "...and better chuck me a banana too. Make that two. As in T-W-O the number. Two bananas. And a pear"

"Yeah Rikko how's tricks?" he continued chucking a couple of grapes in his vast mouth "Keep meaning to catch up with your blog. Still off the smokes I take it?"

I faked humility "Just because I sent you an email Kevvo doesn't mean its compulsory to read it. The Clinton thing went well I hear. Has Misbegotten opened yet? Sorry I'm a bit out of touch with you too- I've had a few projects of my own on the go."

"You're kidding me...great news Rik, great news. You mean we're going be seeing you pull the old tights on again? I'll never forget that thing you did at that Church place in Kensington. Noel Coward right? Or was it Brecht? Anyway you were the old
guy. Excellent doddering"

"Sorry to disappoint, and no offence Kev, but acting's a mug's
game and I'm not going back. There are more important things than lighting up the world
with my talent. Much more importantly I'm completely off the
snout."

"Great part for you - Snout"

"No no Kevin. Tobacco. I'm still off the
fags...er...cigarettes"

"Good good but tell me Rikksy- Are you 'compensating'? Know what I
mean Rik my boy? are you com-pen-sat-ing? Because I am since I
quit. With me its fruit. I'm compensating with fruit"

"Really?"

"Yeah that's what the the Great Mr K ordered and thats what I'm
sticking to. And boy do I feel great. Fruit man, fruit's the way
to go." - he shoved a watermelon into my hands - "And the thing
about fruit is...” he took one ginormous stride to the door..."it
ain't made of chocolate" . He glanced meaningfully at my stomach
turned on his heels and in a flash he and his fruit were gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kevin Spacey is currently appearing at the Old Vic in Eugene
O'Neill’s ‘Moon for the Misbegotten.’


Erik Fuller is currently not smoking in and around London SE1.

Kevin Spacey Misbegotten Fruit

---5m 1w 1d 03:28 smoke-free, 4,030 cigs not smoked, £467.48 saved, 1w 6d 23:50 life saved

I have been getting a bit lax with my anniversaries. (I know anniversaries comes from the word year but who cares).

So it was five months and a week yesterday.

I decided against football at the last minute yesterday- I don't know whether it was the French Farmers market in Lower Marsh (picture) or R having passes to London Open House (she volunteered at her workplace) that stopped me going but I missed AFCW's win in the crazy-early stages of the FA Cup against Horsham.

We're off to Open House this morning after I've finished my special homemade coffee- Douwe Egberts with milk frothed up with an Aerolatte with vanilla syrup (both gifts from a reader) and sprinkled with the amaretto powder that R got me.

We have some interest in a particular house at the moment and I'll fill you in when things develop.

Well turnout far exceeeded expectations at the reader's meeting. We all managed to cram
into the Caffe Nero and engaged in a few ice-breakers. Then it was time for me to start
the tour.

People were sorely disappointed that Mr K's Chemists weren't open. A false hope had arisen
that I would be able to arrange a meeting with the great man and possibly people would be
allowed to have photos taken in the anusol chair with him. I do hate to disappoint and I
don't blame my readers for their frustration but it did get a bit out of hand.

I continued the tour along the river pointing out to the crowds the spot where I filmed this (video
link) one off episode of Fag Free TV way back in April.

My voice began to get hoarse shouting to the crowds and they began to lose interest so it was decided to go to the Pub.
Here are some unused ashtrays and here is one of my readers meeting up with a couple more
of my readers. And here are some more readers relaxing.

Then we went to the Tate Modern- no idea why- and then off to have something to eat. We
managed to shrug off the unmanageable numbers of followers and managed to squeeze into Marie's Cafe The Best Cafe In SE1.

And then a bit of a sing song at the Sussex Arms Karaoke until it was time for the readers
to disperse. There were planes to catch and so forth. One of them a certain Miss B who
had come all the way from County Wicklow just couldn't tear herself away until she got a
bit bored and then she managed to break away no problem.

Great meeting you guys and gals even if I
didn't have time to talk to you all one by one. And thanks for the presents you
coincidently heaped on me on a day that was so coincidentally close to my birthday...

READERS MEETING SATURDAY 02 SEPTEMBER (like NOW!)

I know its short notice but why not get yourselves along, drink some coffee, take in some art, meet fellow readers and have a fag, oops, go for a wander and so forth.

The schedule is:

3pm The Caffe Nero The Cut Waterloo

Meet up and have a coffee - where I first came to on Day One.

4pm Guided tour/walk to my workplace - see the steps I no longer walk up and down. See My K's The Chemists where I used to get my patches. Visit the "Valley of No Customer Service".

Continue on to The Founders Arms for some more coffee or maybe a beer.

5.15 Breathe coffee fumes on the punters at Tate Modern for half an hour or so before heading off to the Charles Dickens pub in Union Street arriving about

6.15pm Charles Dickens Pub - for another, ahem, coffee and maybe some food.

If food is not on we'll head to the Capital Kebab or Maries cafe subject to a popular vote of the masses.

7-9 Eating things drinking coffee smoking some more with a Final Wind down awith some karaoke down the Sussex Arms.

PS The proximity to my birthday is a pure coincidence and is neither here nor there.
PSS This is the first day coincidentally close to my birthday that has occurred since giving up smoking.


Now all I have to do is make sure R is coming.

See you soon! Everyone Welcome!

Oh dear...I've got compettion

Windows XP Activation...Must Activate Within 90473437 Days. WTF?
Originally uploaded by dan-lemm2001.

...but having had a quick look at it I don't think I need worry too much about my google-rankings just yet.

Messing around with the wonderful Puppy today and decided to check out my bloglines page . This is an online version of an RSS reader and is an option for all those who want to keeep their eyes on a lot of blogs at once. The most linked to when I looked was a website called the EH List that allows you to check the stats on any blog by adding the address. This is quite a brilliant idea for a webpage what with 50 million anxious bloggers hanging around. I decided to check out the stats on a particular blog (no points for guessing which one).

Read about and try it here.

AT the LBs barbecue last month someone Mr H.O. brought up the subject of my blogs unfindability using google. I countered that I was number two hit using '"erik fuller" blog' as the search term in Yahoo. Then I disappeared from yahoo and mysteriously appeared in google. Trying it just now
I turn up as Hit 3 with google.com, don't show at all with google.co.uk (guess because the site is US) and show as Hit 7 for yahoo.com.

Two things. First my friend's assumption that if you can't find something with google then it can't be found. I was put right on this by a colleague whose job it was to use search engines. I was bitten by the desire to check out some friend's name on the web and was getting a few vague references to some work she had done switching out of google and using some of the other search tools out there I got a perfect hit with her tel number and her email address. I think it might have been dogpile but that's not the point. For the cost of a few clicks you can go from meagre rations to the full monty in search terms. Try it out. There's plenty of tools at this site.

Second thing. Can I expect old friends to start getting in touch using the web as the way of finding me? Well they would either have to be imaginitative enough to stick the word blog by my name or persistent enough to dig theirway through the first 14 pages or so to find a link to me (not necessarilty a very useful one)just using Erik Fuller. So I won't expect a surfeit of Christmas this year but slowly and surely we're moving towards the biggest telephone book in the world.

Technorati Tags Search Engines Eh List Bloglines Famous

R's friend C from years back popped up from Hastings today and we headed off to the Miniature Worlds show at the Jerwood Gallery. We then went to the the Tate Modern. C took us
into the bookshop behind Starbucks (my whole worldview is determined by
coffee outlets nowadays) and I saw a programme there from a Roualt
exhibition that I went to. I was shocked to see it was in
1993. Who did I go with? Did I go alone?

Having spent too much time staring at this computer screen it was a
lovely refreshing thing to focus on on lines that have been impressed
upon paper by the human hand and to revel in the extreme delicacy
of the "evil fairies" in a corner exhibit that we all liked at the
Jerwood.

The Tate's showing Domestic Incidents in the turbine space which was quite pertinent. R's been heavily involved in household goods and they were well represented here. Amusing but not as good as the evil fairies in my opinion.

For some reason I kept thinking I should be lighting up when leaving
both galleries. Guess it's my first art-fest since giving up.

(Geek-point: I did this post from beginning to end just using the tiny Puppy Linux Live CD and the software that gets squeezed into its 70Mb.)

Technorati Tags Puppy Linux Tate Modern Jerwood Gallery