I'm just slightly worried that when I went to hospital on Monday they didn't discuss my latest blood test but instead pronounced me dead. England has just won again with Owen and Heskey as frontmen. This can't be true can it?
I have also come back home after the match and seen the builders are still here working away.
Forget it. I'm dead. I'm definitely dead. Ate a bad prawn or something.
Life was good whilst it lasted but not as amusing as it is now. If you are still alive and receiving this post via a seance or something then "hello and fear not - the afterlife is serene and witty. Especially the Emile Heskey bits. Love to mum and dad. Bad to Wayne and John- but don't kill 'em or they'll end up here."