Thursday, April 20, 2006

What a morning. First thing I get confronted with is this monstrosity from google.

Then it's off to Mr K's for my smoking cessation session (try saying that when you're drunk). Into the kiosk, get shoved into the Anusol chair, desk slams down "How's it going...blal blah blah...very good..blah blah blah.." Don't think his heart was in it. Maybe he's a secret smoker and the guilt's getting to him. Next time I'm round there he gets to blow in the fag-ometer or I'm not playing ball.

Anyway he deals me up the patches (twice as many this time) and I set off for a coffee further down the arcade. Now this isn't any old arcade - every outlet, greasy spoon, grocery etc... seems to be a subsidiary of Basil Fawlty International. Customer service died before it was born in this dark alley.

So I go to Basil's Cafeteria Delicassiotansos or whatever daft name it has to order my Cappo with Almond syrup. Now every time I order this, every time, they say they don't have any almond syrup and every time I point to the almond syrup and say "Yes you do" and they then make me one. Today they don't pretend they haven't got any. Today they pretend they haven't heard me at all, thus getting around the problem of me correcting them and I end up with a cappo without any sodding syrup in it.

Mid-morning I decide to change tack myself and go up to Pret a Manger, which isn't in Fawlty Arcade, and end up behind another person who is buying the entire shop. Who are these people? Sub-contractors? Winners of competitions (eat for a year at Pret)? Anyway it gives me time to evaluate their coffee selection. I opt for Mocha which is "the chocolatey one" and made with some bird's milk and it looks easier to pronounce. Finally the woman in front of me has lost her voice from all her ordering and I butt in with my order and get the coffee. It tastes like a tramps arse.

Back home at lunchtime things aren't so bad. I have my regular cheese omelette and baclava write this then prepare for a nano-sleep before getting back to work.

The quit-ometer that AB sent me tells me

---1w 4d 05:48 smoke-free, 283 cigs not smoked, £32.83 saved, 23:35 life saved

That means 1 week 4 days 5 hours 48 mins without a fag of which I would have consumed 283. I don't know if the life saved bit is in minutes hours or seconds.

It doesn't include the number of bad coffee experiences suffered.


Anonymous said...

Where can I get a quitometer??? Must've missed that post...

Anonymous said...

ANOTHER great reason for giving up smoking, Erik: Writing a compendium of the best and worst coffees in London... I will try an almond coffee myself this very day.

Erik Fuller said...

The quitometer link is
I'll stick it up on one of my posts soon in case others are interested.